So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
