there's paper in my vomit.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
