just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
