Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
