Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
