It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
i now understand why vodka
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
