Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
