Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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