Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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