I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
