I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
