Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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