I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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