Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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