please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Panties = found
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