FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Randomize
