Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
