Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
