My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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