So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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