so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
