those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
