She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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