she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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