why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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