I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
