For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
