it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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