I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
