there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
