stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
