theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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