ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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