Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
