Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
