I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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