we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
