The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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