Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Let's paint friendship bongs
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
