you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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