Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
