I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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