either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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