Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
