Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
