At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
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