Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
