He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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