Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
