Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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